Universal Collide
by that-which-posesses
Summary: After Rick's capture by the Galactic Federation, an unknown figure comes to the rescue, but not for good reasons. The Smith family will soon learn how their universe works and will have to take on a new housemate because of Rick's irresponsibility. Rated M for language and sexual content/themes.
1. Rick Rescue

_Hmm… my pendant says I'm on location. He should be here. But where?_

A slender female with long, ebony hair and pale skin walked down hallway after hallway of the most intense maximum security prison she'd ever come across. She'd had to enact several charms and enchantments in order to conceal herself from all the alien guards walking around. After, all, this prison did belong to the Galactic Federation, a government she had no intentions to cross.

As the woman made her way down several more corridors, she couldn't help but notice how armed the place was. All walls and doors were made of a material she wasn't familiar with and every guard had some kind of weapon that she was afraid might be able to destroy her. Galactic reapers were constantly being reminded about the dangers of their job. No one really knew what could kill them and what couldn't.

She finally came across a large, metal door that stood at least ten feet tall and was probably just as thick.

 _Promising,_ she thought.

She walked through the door and stopped at the edge of the walkway. A railing ran around the length of the walkway with a small opening to walk through, and it all overlooked massive holding chamber.

The prison.

Each cell was like a cell in a hive, and all of them contained some alien shackled to the wall. There were so many it made the woman dizzy. Aliens that were big, aliens that were small. Fat aliens, tall aliens, green aliens, hairy aliens, aliens that looked like ball sacs. It was bad.

But she wasn't here for aliens. She was here for a human. And there was only one human here in this galactic prison.

To her right was a computer; she walked up to it and pulled out a chip from her breast pocket. She looked around the computer for a place to stick it, shrugged, and just jammed it into the nearest hole. The computer beeped and blinked wildly, then went straight to green. The woman raised an eyebrow and looked around at the cells before here. All of them were orange, except for one. It was green.

 _Bingo!_

She jumped down from the ledge and landed, then walked over towards the green cell, careful not to bump into any of the hundreds of guards walking past her. After all, she was invisible, not a ghost.

The cells were stacked a hundred high, possibly more, and ran for miles and miles down the room. The bottom row of cells stood about five feet off the ground and must have been about as tall as her (the form she had chosen for this shenanigan was 5'6"). When she finally made it to the column that her target was in, she stopped and took a few steps back.

And bumped right into the guard behind her.

It turned around and grunted, just in time to see her materialize in front of her.

"What the-"

It didn't have time to finish its sentence, because the woman had her own special weapon out and ready and in one clean sweep, the guard's head was disconnected and rolling on the floor. Purple fluid sprayed everywhere; all over the floor and the surrounding guards and the woman.

"Ew," she said. "It smells."

No one moved and everything was silent, until one guard shouted "get her!"

Alien guards bolted at her from every direction, guns in hand and firing. She quickly decided that there was no time to fight, and turned back to the cells. Two enormous, shadowy arms shot out of her back and dug into the floor, then launched the woman up into the air. She used these arms to climb the cells until she reached the green-lit one, and when she got there, she stared into the glass at her target. Just to be sure it was him, she glanced over at the cell tag where, in English, flashed the prisoner's name.

RICK SANCHEZ.

She looked back at the old man within, who stared back at her through the glass, eyes wide with horror, mouth open in a mute scream.

Another shadowy hand emerged and smashed through the glass and wrapped itself around Rick's torso. The broken cell disabled and the shackles around his wrists and ankles released, allowing the hand to yank him out of his cell and pull him towards the woman.

"Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!" Rick kept screaming.

The woman smiled and let her ghostly suspensions release, and the two of them fell from the cell towards the ground. Rick's horrified screams echoed from behind the woman as they accelerated towards the hard, metal floor, but just as they were about to die, the woman reached behind her and pulled out her scythe from the hand holding Rick. She swung at the floor and ripped it open, revealing a fire-like portal leading into whatever dimension the woman was headed to.


	2. Rick and Morty's problem

Morty sat on his bed, computer in his lap, his fourteen-year-old brain whirling with excitement as he browsed the web for the most erotic porn in the universe. He had to admit, alien porn was really hot, even if it didn't make a lot of sense. His small body quivered as he jacked off at an alarming rate; he was so close.

But just as he was about to climax, a dark hole opened up in front of his bed and through it stepped a frail-looking woman, her long ebony hair flowing past her breasts, peeking out from her tank top, full and voluptuous. Morty stopped moving and stared at this beauty that just entered his room, his face frozen in awe.

The woman glanced over to Morty in his bed and cocked an eyebrow, then gave him the sexiest smirk she could. She could feel the tension emanating from his small, weak body, and couldn't stifle her snickers as his body convulsed from his orgasm.

"Oh...geez…" he moaned.

The portal behind the woman was still open, though, and through it came one shadowy arm carrying Rick, still in his prison uniform.

"G-grandpa!" Morty shouted, jumping up to greet him, forgetting that he wasn't wearing any clothes and that he had just came all over himself.

"Jesus, Morty! What the hell are you doing in here?" Rick shouted over his shoulder.

"Oh, man, Rick. I can't believe you're back! It's been so long."

"Morty, it's been three months. I figured you'd, you know, still be upset about it, but I see you've already accepted the fact that I got arrested and sent to jail. I'm glad to see you've taken it so well."

"Rick, it's not like that," Morty retorted in defense. He felt a little bad and he looked down at his semen-covered hands in shame. He looked back up at the woman and cowered back. "Who are you?" he asked.

"I break your grandfather out of prison and all you have to say is 'who are you'?"

"N-no, ma'am-"

"Oh, quit with the formality, child. I bring your grandfather because he is in a heap of trouble."

"What did he do?"

The woman dropped Rick and the arm retreated back into her being.

"Your grandfather has caused me a great amount of stress. You see, I am a collector in training, and my job is to collect, judge, and deliver the souls of the dying across universes. I am, what you humans call, the Grim Reaper."

"What do I have to do with that?" Rick snorted at the woman from Morty's bed. He had crawled over and grabbed a hidden bottle of scotch that he'd taped to the bottom some time ago.

"Rick, what the-nevermind." Morty turned back to the woman. "I think I have a right to know who you are and what you want with Rick. I mean, you did just barge into my room without knocking. Or using the door. And as you can probably see, you've disturbed my privacy."

"Very nice, M-URRP-orty," Rick snided, taking a long drink from the bottle.

"Fine. My name is Ophelia, and like I said, I am the Grim Reaper. Your grandfather is responsible for several massacres, and I don't think you've noticed, but I haven't been around to collect the souls of the dead."

"Your point?"

Ophelia glared at Rick. "I'm extremely behind in my reapings, and Rick Sanchez is to blame. If I don't catch up by the end of the month, there's no telling what The Collector will do to me."

"Wait, you collect ALL of the souls in ALL of the universes?" Morty said in complete awe.

"Yes."

"But how?"

"The same way Santa Claus delivers presents to everyone all over this planet. I Just...can." She folded her arms across her chest and scowled.

"Soooooooo where do all the -URRP- souls go if, you know, you don't get them?"

Ophelia turned to Rick. "They go into limbo. Where I can't reach them. At least not yet. Souls that haven't been attended to go into limbo, where they wait for The Collector to judge them and send them off."

"W-w-w-what's limbo?" Morty stammered.

"It's the state between reality and judgement where lost souls linger."

"Ghosts, Morty. URRP. Ghosts." Rick finished off his bottle in one last go and headed for the door, but Ophelia put out an arm to stop him.

"I don't think so. You and your grandson are coming with me."

"Me?" Morty shouted. "Why me? Why do I have to go? I didn't kill any of these people. Rick's the one who shot a bunch of people and ran them over and stuff!"

"Wow, Morty. Way to -URRP- throw me under the bus."

"You? Morty Smith, you have done your fair share of killing."

"Oh yea? W-w-when?"

"Oh let's see." She started counting on her fingers as she listed all of the times Morty killed someone. "The time you ran over that alien assassin with Rick's ship; the time you 'purged' on an alien planet-"

"Yea, but that's because I was defending myself or trying to help innocent people!"

"-and that alien you were trying to save from being assassinated but discovered his plan and ended up assassinating him yourself anyways-"

"He was gonna take over the planet!"

"Alright, alright, shit! Calm down." Rick stood in front of Ophelia, arms across his chest. Ophelia scowled and mirrored his action. "Quit beating on my grandson. Morty, quit being such a little bitch. You-URRP-murdered some people. Not as much as me, but some. Y-y-you still need to pay for your digressions."

"What? Rick, are you siding with her? Don't forget, you're gonna be in more trouble than me."

"Stop it, both of you. You are both responsible for this mess, and both of you are going to help me fix it before The Collector finds out."

"How? I don't understand." Morty had never been so confused in his life. This was too much to take in at once. He grabbed his clothes and dressed himself, his eyes looking up to catch another glimpse at Ophelia's cleavage. To his relief, she wasn't paying attention. She was still sizing up Rick.

"Morty, you and your grandfather are coming with me into limbo to judge all of the souls there."

"Jesus, lady. How long will that take? I-I-I'm sure y-URRP-ou know that I've murdered a shit load of people. It ain't gonna be quick and painless doing whatever it is you wanna do with them.

"Then so be it. You caused this whole fiasco. You are going to do whatever it takes to undo it all. Even if it takes you the rest of your pathetic, worthless lives."

Morty's eyes shot open and he stood up straight. "What the hell, Rick! I don't wanna spend the rest of my life in limbo!"

"I'm sure you don't, Morty," Rick said, throwing an arm around his shoulders. "But it's ok, Morty. I can get us out of this."

Rick walked up to Ophelia and grabbed her by the waist. "Is there anything I can do for you for the rest of my life instead? Maybe Morty can -URRP- give you something else too. Hahahahaaha."

"Shut up, Rick!" Morty shouted, blushing.

Ophelia rolled her eyes and held out her arm. A loud crack and a bright flash of light engulfed the room and a scythe appeared in her hand. The arms shot back out from her back and grabbed Rick and Morty, causing both men to stop arguing and start screaming. Ophelia swung her scythe at the air and another dark portal opened. She stepped through it and emerged from the other side, stepping into an endless, foggy wasteland. Hundreds of misty figures wandered aimlessly, seemingly unable to see where they were going; they didn't even seem to have a destination. Moans and growls filled the air, causing Morty to shudder.

Rick and Ophelia had their gazes fixed on something else.

Standing before them was a tall, cloaked figure. A skull protruded from the hood, smiling sinisterly at the trio.

"Ophelia, what the hell is going on here?" The skull's mouth didn't move as it spoke, and the voice echoed from all around the nothingness.

Ophelia immediately dropped Rick and Morty and cowered in the darkness.

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean for this to happen. I've tracked the cause of the problem, however. They will be helping me guide these lost souls to where they belong-"

"Silence! I'll hear none of this. I will deal with this." The figure raised its arms and a scythe of its own and stamped the ground. Lightning shot out from the blade and struck all of the wandering souls, and they dissipated into oblivion. The scythe evaporated into the air, and the figure glowered down at Ophelia.

"You are to stay in Earth's universe. No more reaping across the galaxies. You are to spend the remainder of your training there."

Ophelia's eyes widened and tears fell down her cheeks.

"No. Don't. Please. The humans. _The humans."_

"My word is final." And with that, the figure was gone, and the three were back in Morty's room.


End file.
